If you have never thrown a shower before, you probably have some questions. The questions and answers below should help get you started:

Q: I don’t know all of the bride and groom’s family and friends, so who should I invite?

A: If the shower is going to be a surprise, you obviously can’t discuss the guest list with the bride. The next best person is the groom. If he can’t help, speak to the bride’s mother.

Q: What kind of food should I serve?

A: Most showers are not terribly formal. If this is true of the party you are planning, serve finger foods, and hors d’oeuvres, along with a selection of beverages. For a formal event, serve hot hors d’oeuvres or a buffet style meal and consider having the shower catered.

Q: My house isn’t really that large. Where should I have the shower?

A: Inquire about halls for rent in your area. Frequently, churches, lodges, and community centers will rent out a hall complete with kitchen, for a small fee. Many also require a deposit, which will be returned if the hall is returned to its previous condition. If you rent a hall that requires you to clean up, secure help from others in advance. If you cannot find a hall, try a restaurant that offers group rates.

Q: When is the best time for the shower?

A: Give a shower about two weeks to a month before the wedding. Any closer to the big day will make it more difficult as the bride and others in the wedding party become busier with preparations.

Q: Why do people give showers?

A: A shower is a celebration of the coming wedding, which not only allows the bride a chance to receive gifts, but also gives family members and friends -from both sides- a chance to become better acquainted before the big day.

Q: How can I pull off a surprise shower?

A: Truthfully, most brides will be expecting a shower so it can be tricky. The best way is probably to make up an excuse to get the bride to your home. A casual excuse is the best choice. Ask her to come over to help you with something rather than inviting her to lunch. Trying to get her to another location will require more creativity. In the event that you are using a hall, tell her you ordered something for a fundraiser from the organization that owns the hall, and ask her to go with you to pick up your purchase.

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